Tikkun olam

Relinquishing and Receiving

05 Nov 2009 Leave a Comment

by Marvin Lance Wiser in Andover Newton Theological School, Church - Theologizing, Life, Theology, UCC Tags: Andover Newton Theological School, Church, Churches of Christ, Ecumenism, essay, God, Hebrew Bible, Inter-faith, Judeo-Christian, Minister, Ministry, Old Testament, Pastor, Pluralism, Reflection, religion, Seminary, spiritual, spiritual abuse, Spirituality, Theology, UCC, United Church of Christ, Walter Brueggeman

This post is one in the making. It is a story of my personal and spiritual transformation and where I am now- actually a subsequent post will talk about “where I am now”. This is taken from a “reflection essay” that was part of my application process for Andover Newton Theological School (part of the Boston Theological Institute), which I wrote in March/April of this year. It’s objective was to address several specified topics and questions, of which I hope they make themselves evident.

Personal Reflections

Marvin Lance Wiser

April 2009

I. On the already experienced

“Faith is the state of being ultimately concerned.”
-Paul Tillich

I was brought up in a church context where faith was approached in quite a different manner than portrayed in the above quote. Faith was the certitude of all things dogmatic, and more than often, divisive. Questions were shunned and anything considered deviant in thought, speech, or action was automatically repressed for the sake of all believing ‘in one accord’. I grew up in the denomination Churches of Christ of the American Restoration Movement. It was homey and comfortable until I hit adolescence. I grew to know that something was awry and that something was missing. I would continue on this faith journey for nearly 10 years, always looking around every corner hoping to get a better glimpse of God. But from my perspective, where I was, I just couldn’t quite make out the silhouette of the Holy One.

After I graduated high school, I went on to Harding University in Searcy, AR, which is affiliated with the Churches of Christ. There, I experienced an amazing and revealing four years. I learned of a God that I had never known existed, one that pardons and takes away all iniquity, one that doesn’t hold grudges. That whetted my palate, yet somehow I was not fulfilled. My junior year, I took two Old Testament classes with Dr. John Fortner. This experience led me, a New Testament Christian, so close to God that I could feel God- moving through the narratives that we examined, playing and relishing in the poetry that we recited, and finally residing in my heart. This God of the Old Testament was the God that had set my bones afire.

However, as enlightening and uplifting as this experience at the university-level was, I could not reconcile it with what I had experienced and was experiencing in the ecclesiastical setting. Though I had experienced many wonderful times in my church, and experienced the warmth and love of its international community, not all was a bed of roses. As I was undergoing my faith transformation in Searcy, back home in Fayetteville, Tennessee, my younger brother led a song after the opening prayer one Sunday evening service; he had not yet been baptized. Within two weeks my home congregation had split 60/40 under the precepts of unauthorized worship. My younger brother has since never shown too much interest in the Church. Thinking of him, I recall being affected by church members and preachers telling me at a young age that all of my Southern Baptist playmates were going to hell. Somehow that never set right with me- even at ten years old. In my hometown of less than 10,000 people, there exist thirty-six congregations of the Churches of Christ-the majority of which find their origins in congregational splits. This was my environment: complete and adamant belief in biblical inerrancy; an evangelism that verged on imperialism; a complete disregard of Church traditions and history (I was taught that the Churches of Christ could be traced back to the day of Pentecost and that all other denominations were the work of Satan); and a rejection of learned clergy. At this time in my life I was beginning to see its highly sectarian and fundamentalist stance to the rest of Christian traditions and to the world, to the Creation of God. As I developed more of a social conscious and discovered my political voice, I found myself increasingly more isolated in my own tradition. The questions that then faced me were: Would I want to stay in this environment? Could I still call it my own? Would I continue to allow my faith to be informed solely by my tradition, or would I begin to narrate a different story?

II. On what is being experienced

“Where suffering and hope are denied, exiles abound.”

-Walter Brueggemann

As I write this, I consider myself to be at one of those great critical junctures in life. This has become even more evident to me as I have just revisited my past. Since 2006 I have been caught up in a great act of relinquishment. I call the crisis of 2006 my own personal ‘Great Awakening.’ That year I experienced many events that would play a significant part in the expanding of my horizons. Of those many events, for the sake of brevity, here I shall mention only two. (1) When I was introduced to the academic study of the Bible (especially the Hebrew Bible), Biblical Theology and also to History of Religions, I immediately recognized that it was something that I had a genuine passion for; something I could and wanted to contribute to. (2) Something else that informed my direction in life was my deepening commitment to the Hispanic community and a three-month trip that I took throughout Latin America. I learned so much, yet due to space I think it best to leave it at this: I returned to begin my senior year of college a different person entirely.

I borrow the terms “relinquishment” and “receiving” from Walter Brueggemann’s Hopeful Imagination, a book which I identify much with my time of personal crisis. These terms do justice in answering the above questions regarding my church tradition: I let it go; I gave it away in hopes of receiving something better.

Two years ago I moved to Mexico City, where I have worked teaching English and have again been pushed out of my comfort zone. Here I have worshipped at various places, but in 2008 answered a request by making a commitment to help with new small church plants. It has been wonderful ministering in a second language (although, I still tend to butcher it) and to commune cross-culturally, but nothing has been more important for my faith journey than to just live here, to experience the culture itself. I have gone from constant comparison and critique to acceptance of and embracing differences. I have learned that nothing is definite or unchangeable, including my faith and the God that I serve. Here I have gained new parameters of understanding of my faith, justice, theodic and social issues, and most importantly, my vocation. I have come to an understanding that faith cannot be divorced from works nor justice from worship, adoration from stewardship, suffering from hope or grieving from newness. God is no longer a God that simply pardons wrongdoings, but a God that creates possibilities.

My view of the Church and its role in society has been greatly influenced by these events. I see the Church as “the conscience of things that need critiquing in the world, not an apologist for upholding broken systems of comfort and familiarity” (taking influence from Bono). It is one of the answers to the conflicted, tension-filled traditions of Israel that seeks to serve God’s Creation. It is one of the conduits that brings newness to society; meaning to those in seasons of uncertainty; peace to those enveloped in violence; life to those surrounded by death; and equality and equilibrium where inequality and inequilibrium abound. The Church should be a liberator of all things oppressed, from people groups (right now gay rights come to mind) to eco-systems; the voice of the voiceless. It should be a refuge for all peoples; accepting of all with arms wide open, imitating its founder, Jesus’ example. It should recognize its diversity and various traditions inherent within itself so it can form new means of communicating, engaging, and ministering in an ever changing post-modern and pluralist society. In essence, it should be the grease that facilitates the advancing of society and the filler of voids in lives that are yet to feel complete.

My view of the pastor and his or her role is to lead in helping the members of the Church to find their passions and instilling in them a sense of worth and acceptance; helping them believe that they can make a difference in the world just the way they are. The pastor should serve as midwife to God’s feelings on what God’s Creation is experiencing in the context in which the pastor and his or her congregation is in, having an utmost concern for ethics and for life. At times she/he should be prophetic in his or her stances to issues that plague Creation. The pastor should be learned in the traditions of the Church and knowledgeable concerning other faiths and fields as well, such as the humanities. He/she should be capable of contextualizing that faith and, if necessary, transmuting it so that it might be capable of reception to a new generation or new people group. The pastor should be in constant conversation with faith leaders that are in close proximity to him/her in order to better discern the needs of the community and to foster harmonious relations with other faith groups. The pastor should strive to be a good steward of Creation, to see ethical imports in actions and rituals, transcend dualism, relate to all of those that she/he encounters, detect those in exile, and above all, exercise tolerance and love.

Right now I am experiencing hope; hope of receiving something better, of bringing the purposes and passions that I feel within me to a fuller realization. I am happy to have stepped out and taken the chance of relinquishing something in hopes of receiving something different. Though I have interpreted my overall experience with the Churches of Christ as negative (at times very negative), I am now beginning to see how it has shaped me and how it has been a part of my faith journey. I am learning to embrace it, allowing it to minister to those that have come out of similar experiences. I am learning the essentialness of integration. This in part is due to my wife, Yuliana. She has accompanied me throughout my entire transformation. She has also taught me that tolerance is something that must be extended multilaterally. She has been the essential figure in my processes of healing. Though I come from an Evangelical tradition, I am now disenchanted with it; for me, I view Mainline Christianity as a better answer to the cries of Creation, closer to the faith of Israel, and the faith which has taken hold of me. Yet I have a dream that one day there might be constructed a bridge that will bring these two poles of Christianity, and indeed other faith traditions to closer communion.

III. On the yet to be experienced

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

-Martin Luther King Jr.

I feel myself being called to two distinct ministries; one being teaching Hebrew Bible. Ever since my “Great Awakening,” I have had an unquenchable thirst to learn more and more about the Hebrew Bible, I can’t get enough. Since college I have gone to great efforts to acquaint myself with the academic study of the Hebrew Bible and have read everything I can get my hands on. I see it as a common point for the so-called “religions of the Book,” or the Abrahamic traditions. I would like to work with postmodern interpretation and apply the social sciences to the study of the Hebrew Bible. I presume my interests will narrow or change in the future, but right now of particular interest to me are Second Temple studies, Jewish sapiential literature, the books of Jeremiah, Second Isaiah, Job, Qoheleth, and Jonah and the theme of dismantling and constructing social realities. I am also interested in New Pauline interpretation, Christianity and Empire, pluralism and the coexistence of world religions; how their coexistence, or lack thereof, affects politics and how conflict resolution can be a melody to the harmony. I want to do theology with those that are oppressed, especially those that are dislocated, those that are lacking a vital space or community; for example, undocumented residents (in particular the Hispanic population) and those that are abused (physically, emotionally, spiritually, economically, etc.). I expect my passion for Latin American history and the abuses made by the American empire and neoliberalism, coupled with my own experiences in Latin America will eventually come into play at some point in my vocation. Many authors, theologians, historians, and biblical scholars in this field have had a profound influence on my thinking. I am also an advocate for biblical criticism, which I believe is a necessary tool for the Church to fully take advantage of its texts. I see this as part of my vocation as a teacher because I enjoy the academy; I desire to continue my education; I love to read, write, ask questions, challenge preconceived notions and/or the status quo, and prepare materials; it involves a passion that I have, and it is a very rewarding feeling for me to be apart of a process where someone is brought to a higher, new, or just different understanding of something. I just completed teaching a course that I designed in Spanish for a church entitled, The Exodus, Oppression, and the Problem of Holiness. I hope that it will lead the group towards a greater awareness of the Christian responsibility in regard to social issues. On an additional note, I would also like to be actively involved in ecumenical conversations and in Jewish-Christian relations (of which your institution’s unique relation with Hebrew College really interests me).

The second ministry in which I feel called to is that of a pastoral position in a diverse church. I have always wanted to be a minister. I feel as though it is something that has been in my heart for a long time. While in Mexico, I believe I have attained more gifts for this specific ministry. Going and ministering to people in a culture that is so community-oriented has really made me grow in the way that I respond to and care for people. Living in Mexico has also led me to completely re-evaluate the question of theodicy and approach numerous biblical/theological issues in a unique real-life applicable context. As well, being bilingual will allow me to take part in ministering to the Hispanic community, which I now call home. I call it home because among many reasons, my wife is Mexican. She has helped me more than any other person has, especially in understanding and participating in the Latino culture. Yuliana and I have always considered ourselves as a ministerial partnership or team; we always do it together. It was one of the primary reasons we connected six years ago. For that reason, I consider her to be a gift as well, bringing many gifts along for the journey. She is now completing a master’s in Marriage and Family Therapy and seeks to minister as a bilingual therapist. I greatly desire to be a midwife for God, aspiring to be those things which I wrote about a pastor. My journey has led me to wish to seek ordination in the United Church of Christ. I feel as though the UCC is now my vital space- a space that is as inclusive as it is healing.

This brings me to my personal, social, or political issue. I have chosen all of the above. I like to write about various social justice and political topics when I am blogging, but I think one issue that I would like to dedicate time to in ministry (my wife included) is the immigrant. There are unauthorized immigrants entering into the U.S. at 1.4 million per year, and Homeland Security estimates show that as of 2006 there were as many as 13.6 million unauthorized immigrants living in the States- of that number more than half are Mexican. Estimates also show there are close to 30 million foreign-born citizens and nearly 18 million legal foreign residents. That comes to ±60 million people. This is a population that has an immense amount of needs and needs ministering to. The largest ethnic group that makes up this population is Hispanic (45 million), which is currently growing at three times the rate of the U.S. national growth rate, accounting for nearly half of the nation’s growth, and expected to crest 100 million by 2050. Of the unauthorized, many came to the States and are now living in the shadows, too afraid to ask the community for help, and are more often than not taken advantage by those that live outside the shadows. They came, many as refugees, due to many reasons: poverty, economic hardships, broken families, political unrest, war, religious or ethnic discrimination; or they were forced here due to any of the above reasons, drug or human trafficking or economic injustices, such as the abuses and/or failures of neoliberalism, free trade acts, and globalization. Regardless of why they are in the States, they are in the States and they have histories and their own experiences and need to feel the healing touch of the Church. The Church should not be too timid to extend that hand and create healthy relationships of trust with those in the shadows, while with the other hand, advocating for migratory reform, and fair trade practices; being a voice for those who do not have one, because our tradition tells us that we too were without a voice:

The immigrant who sojourns with you
shall be to you as the one born among you,
and you, personally, shall love him or her as yourself;
for you were immigrants in the land of Egypt:
I am the Lord Your God.

-Leviticus 19:33-34

IV. On Goals

I have several goals that I hope to achieve in the event that I am selected to attend Andover Newton Theological School:

1. I. To grow closer to the Sacred in devotion, and grow in my spirituality
2. II. To be integrated into a church community, become an active member, and eventually ordained in the UCC.
3. III. To fully take advantage of the partnership with Hebrew College
4. IV. To begin learning Hebrew, French, and German
5. V. To participate in the activities of the Boston Theological Institute
6. VI. To create life-long friendships with professors and fellow alums alike
7. VII. To encounter and engage with a multiplicity of faith traditions
8. VIII. To learn how to better open up to new possibilities that are marked with life and help those about me to do the same
9. IX. To be prepared to enter into studies for an advanced degree in Hebrew Bible
10. X. To be equipped with the practical knowledge and pastoral training to minister, to empower and enable others, to detect people in exile, and to better counteract the problems of “the immigrant,” and Creation as a whole
11. XI. To grow a conscious that will never allow me to be quiet about the things that matter

Though, I have presently given everything familiar and comfortable up, I hope to receive something far greater- that which will challenge me and my prejudices and make me better-suited for ministry and participating in the academy in the 21^st century. I wrote eleven goals, because the list is short of completion, so there will always be room for additions. That is the beauty of the God of my faith: God’s openness to any changes or additions, requests or petitions. Aside from those specific goals, I hope to never stop traveling, experiencing, knowing intimately that which God has called good. And I hope to always “refuse to accept the reading of reality which is the majority opinion,” as Walter Brueggemann so aptly put it in his Prophetic Imagination.

Peace,

~mlw